Did Pinkberry Almost Kill Me?
So I’ve always balked at vegans who claimed that one serving of meat or dairy would cripple their body. I wanted to celebrate a friend’s recent successful surgery and he really wanted Pinkberry froyo. I’ll admit, I missed it and decided as a special occasion to indulge in a small salted caramel with strawberry and bananas. Certainly this 6 ounce cup could not bring down a mighty v- man like myself. It tasted great but a shouting match in my stomach ensued. “Hey Pinkberry! What are you doing here”. “I’m back, you wanna fight?” Pinkberry replied.
All night, I clutched my stomach in pain. By the morning, I was sweating and could barely walk. Antacids, ebson salt, tea, nothing worked. I stumbled outside and my landlady called me a car that took me to the nearest emergency room. I didn’t have to wait long as I laid on the emergency room floor, moaning “I’m dying. I’m gonna die here! Is that what you want?” I spent the night in the E.R. heavily medicated.
24 hours later I was released with little to no explanation. Apparently, the x-ray showed “nothing serious.” They tried to send me off with a big breakfast of bacon and eggs and an industrial bottle of laxative. Reminding them I was vegan, I was given dry toast with peanut butter and a frozen cup of orange juice. I kept the laxative.
I mention my vegan Pinkberry slip as a potential cause and the doctor and nurse did not think it was “that crazy.” In fact, a nurse at this very reputable hospital called the next day and thought it was likely the cause. She added, “at a certain age, we all become lactose intolerant. It’s ridiculous we feed cow’s milk to our children”
Well, I just got extremely anti-dairy. I certainly don’t want to go through that again. The next day when the turkish taco truck (Pera) refused to serve us an eggplant taco without feta, I thought Julia was going to fight someone. “Do you want to kill him?!!”